i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
