You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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