dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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