her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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