This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You are the jesus of drinking
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
