You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
