Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
