the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
