There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
