Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
