HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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