Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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