Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
