I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
