I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
