Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Randomize
