The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
