She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Enjoy the penises
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
