one might say we're banned from that church
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
