So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
operation harelip BJ is a go
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
