Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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