How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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