oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
