My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
