Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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