i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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