You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
