Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
