Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
