i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
