so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
