Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize