TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
