remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
