Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
