I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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