no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
