im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
