Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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