I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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