My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
