My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
