Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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