Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
