maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
