Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Operation Purity has been aborted
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
