I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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