the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
