I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
