whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
